Nose in a Book: Time and Again by Jack Finney

Tonight my reading discussion group will talk about Time and Again by Jack Finney. When I went to pick it up at the library, I was surprised to see that it was a Science Fiction book. I hadn't read SciFi in years, and wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy it enough to finish it in 4-5 days.

Surprisingly, I finished it in 2! Granted, I got nothing else done on Saturday, since I read it until the wee hours of the morning. Yes, the time travel aspect of it was very interesting (I love the idea of time happening all at once, but we just don't perceive it that way), but I was more drawn into the mystery, and then the action close to the end.

Si Morely is the main character. He's asked to work with the government on a secret time travel project. He agrees, as long as he can go back to the time and place that has plagued his girlfriend, Kate, since she was young.

Even when the project is seen as dangerous and questions arise about its ethics, Si becomes absorbed in finding out what haunted a man in New York in 1882 enough to cause him to take his own life years later. But that wasn't the only draw to 1882-- Si starts to "go native", thinking of the new time as home and seeing modern day problems through the primitive lenses of the previous century.

There were the standard questions that often arise with time travel stories-- how do our actions impact the lives of those around us, etc-- time travel stories often take those questions to a higher level. But in this case, I was impressed with the idea of what a government would do if it had that kind of power. Si's story gives us a chance to reflect on the nature of that power.

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I mentioned that I am now a part of Helium. They have a place for book reviews, so I reviewed Time and again there as well. Click here to read that review. I'll still have my "Nose in a Book", but on my blog, it's a little more personal:)

Nose in a Book...

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See was the April selection for my book group, but I was in the over-achieving mode, so I started it early.

It's a relatively short book, about 250 pages, but what you get in those pages is a whole other world. It's set in nineteenth-century China, a time and place where class and gender determine the quality and rules of lives.

In this book, you follow Lily from a bright seven year old to a dimming elderly woman. As she tells you about her life, you come to understand how a woman's status was developed from the culture's definition of beauty, most importantly, the smallness of her feet. Lily was destined to have exceptional feet; those that would be easily bound and broken to submit to the cultural ideal at the time.

Those carefully bound feet would allow her to step up to a less common ground than the rest of her family. She is paired with another young girl in a laotong match that will last a lifetime. This is an emotional match that seemed to be allow the women to love and share in a time where it wasn't expected in their marriages.

The marriages were arranged. Through Lily and her laotong's matches you're taken to a time where women's usefulness was officially relegated to bearing male offspring. Females were considered weak and worthless.

This book focused on the power women had anyway. Their friendships and their secret nu shu language gave them a place and the means to stick up for themselves, to express themselves and to make meaning of their own lives. When Lily and Snow Flower's deep friendship is threatened, so are their very spirits.

I enjoyed following the friendship of these two girls as they grew into women. Two girls bound together in a laotong or many women bound as sworn sisters emphasized the importance of women's friendships. These women were expected to be together to prepare for the arranged marriages, creating slippers, clothes, and quilts, and then again when they outlived those husbands; the women could rely on each other when they were old and not re-marriage material.

I couldn't help relating the foot binding with other unrealistic or painful beauty ideals of today and the more recent past. Even Lily and Snow Flower-- with their feet bound small enough to be measured in centimeters--can't understand why women would allow their waists to be cinched small enough to be able to wrap their fingers around. Back in those days, an ultra tiny waist was considered beautiful in some parts of the world. At the height of Sex and the City fever, modern day foot binding, or getting a bone or two removed to fit into Jimmy Choo's, was not unheard of. People still take their lives in their hands when they try to meet the latest ideal. Young girls back then died from foot binding, young girls even today die from female genital mutilation, and some people have even died from complications from cosmetic surgery.

Will there ever be a time when just being ourselves is enough?

Nose in a Book...

My reading group will be discussing The Necklace: Thirteen Women and the Experiment That Transformed Their Lives by Cheryl Jarvis next month. The basic premise of the book is 13 women share the cost of an expensive diamond necklace, and then find ways to share the necklace with each other and use it as a sharing "tool" in their community.

I was excited about this book-- anything that has a theme of "transformed lives" intrigues me. But by the time it came around to read it, I thought the timing couldn't be worse. We're bombarded with the gravity of a slumping world economy daily. How indulgent and irresponsible is it to even think about how a $37,000 necklace changed thirteen women's lives right now? Such extravagance, selfishness!

However, often while reading this book, I was touched. As these women found different ways to share with each other, I saw past the bling to the other things-- friendship, community, connection. I was especially drawn to the stories of the women who had, for various reasons, not cultivated many women friends. They had spent years attaching themselves to their work, husbands, children... and somehow the girlfriends got left behind. This group, mostly of women in their 50's, gave them the opportunity to get that back, and to remember how important those friendships are.

I was riding a roller-coaster of emotions while reading this book. The women in the group seemed to be going through the same. I would think that the women were looking past the whole materialism of such a necklace, especially with their fund-raising efforts. Then the women suddenly stated grasping for the bling yet again. They argued over loss of 'perceived value' if the diamond necklace was shared with 'just anybody' . For me, this chipped away at what the originator of the group had planned-- to have the necklace (named Jewelia) remind us of the value of sharing, not of one-upmanship.

I thought that there was a disconnect. Why did such good works have to be tied to something that is a status symbol? What about just helping for helpings sake?

I suppose that is the reason for Experiments. How will people act? Jonell got the spark for the idea while window shopping-- in the back of her mind looking for a little treat for herself for a recent real estate sale commission. In the California market, a few years ago when this started, she could really afford to treat herself. She's in a profession that can lead to good income. That income depends on people holding fast to ideas about status symbols, i.e. a big house on the beach! It's a false sense of what we Need to be happy. And Jewelia wasn't really what any of them Needed to be happy. But this is the world we've created, and this is the kind of thing that says-- it's beautiful, it's shiny, go ahead and smile.

I did. I smiled at the accounts of Jewelia being a welcome addition to special days in women's lives; I smiled at the memories that were created. I smiled most about the friendships that were created because of a strand of shiny rocks. I can't stay unnerved about the slight undertone of classism or extravagance I felt-- that's a instinctual reaction in these times, as well as my own past. After all, right on the cover, it says "the experiment that transformed their lives" (my emphasis). Just because I may feel that too much importance is placed on such a symbol of wealth doesn't mean these women didn't grow. If such a necklace were to be placed on my neck, I would feel out of sorts. These women didn't. They created friendships and obtained fundraising money from others because of it. Nothing wrong with that.

The books you read and the people you meet

About 10 years ago, in a team building/motivational/I'm-just-glad-to-be-off-the- phones-for-an-hour-speech in a conference room in Phoenix, I heard that the only things that will really change your life will come from the books you read and the people you meet. I thought that was a really interesting way of thinking about life. The speaker didn't know who came up with it, but I've found that some version of the quote can be found everywhere.

So, once in a while, I'll take a look at some of the books and people that have shaped me in some way. Today, some books:

• Anything by Wayne Dyer. I have read at least six or seven of his books, many of them more than once. Reading Dyer, or hearing him speak (on PBS) is inspirational, and educational-- pointing out that we all have the tools to create the lives we want--or Don't Want. I have to continuously read the books to remind myself how my mind is creating "My Life". A few of my favorite quotes:

• "When you believe it, you will see it."

  "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

• Switching gears... It is so important to laugh, and to not take this life so seriously. I love writers who take their own lives and chuckle onto the page so we can laugh with them. Laurie Notaro is one of my favorites-- I laugh so much when I read her essays, even if I had read them 100 times already. David Sedaris is another favorite. Both of these writers point and laugh at the world around them, saying things you yourself are not witty enough to come up with, and would never say out loud, anyway. I admire the lack of fear that comes with that kind of writing.
• As a kid, I couldn't get enough of Judy Blume. I devoured her books, so relieved to find a mirror of my feelings that was searching for a way to describe and understand. I still see kids reading her books when I'm subbing. When I was a kid, a librarian told me Blume's books would not be considered "classics", so were not worthwhile reading. I knew even then how wrong she was.

Happy Reading! It could change your life!